Wednesday May 26 - Hung the Moon

We finished class today. Last lecture. Last wine tasting – ended on sparkling wines, amazing. It’s so hard to believe that I’ve been here for over 2 weeks now. And there’s so much I learned and crammed into that time. It’s still overwhelming, and I’m still trying to blend as a Corton-ian. That feel may never come.

I feel so invigorated when I go for my runs here. For one, I feel like I’m unstoppable – until I start running my trail up the hill, and it gets harder and harder, so a scenic break here and there never hurt. But I’m not ashamed to put on my v-neck white tee and nike shorts and wander down into the city anymore. The first day, I was convinced every person that I passed stared at me for an eternity. And though they might, I don’t mind anymore. I live here, and if I want to run, that’s what I’m going to do.

I still don’t speak the language. I almost don’t even attempt anymore because I’m afraid that my Italian will ruin what I order more than what my English might. It’s safer to just go with English and hope that they understand. The Italian language is so much more complex than I would have thought it was. And it doesn’t help that most places here speak English. But then again, when ordering a bottle of wine, “Chardonnay” is the same in whatever language you speak. And holding up two fingers most likely will imply that you want two glasses. I could be from the South Pole and speak whatever language I please, and still be able to get a delicious bottle of Chardonnay with two glasses. How I will miss this place in a week.

So I ran again during my day break. It was short run. And I just did the park down and back, no backside hill today. But it was still great to weave in between trees and get to the end and stand on a stone bench and stare out over the valley. Again I’m so spoiled. I’ll never want to run again when I get home, because nothing will ever be as enjoyable. This little girl was running today in the park and she passed in front of me, and I had to laugh and want to stop and play with her. Her golden curls bounced as she laughed and her parents stood by laughing. What I would give to be in her small shoes…

But after dinner tonight, the girls and I “borrowed” the leftover bottles of wine from the teacher tables – this is what I don’t get, is why we go through a bottle between two people at dinner, and they don’t even finish a bottle among ten of them. Whatever, Daniel always taught us to lag behind because they get the good stuff, and never finish it. Not complaining. And not complaining about the ricotta ravioli, fried chicken, salad, and French fries dinner. With chocolate molten cupcakes for dessert. Please make me hike up and down our hill at least five times before bed.

But with our “borrowed” bottles of wine and some plastic cups from dinner, the girls and I decided to make the hike up to the “fort”. I had never been, but a break from the Lions Well Pub for a night was so needed after last night’s disco techa dance fiasco for the science girl’s 21st. I needed a night to breath. So Carolne Collins and I, with our hiking abilities, tread up the hill, bottles in hand, to what I though could be the top of a volcano. I was wrong, but close enough. Because at the top, was this incredible old church. And then another cobble stone path up the mountain, we reached this grassy patch overlooking the entire night lit valley, old church, with the old fort standing behind us. It may have been one of the most breathtaking things I’ve done in my life. Not only physically, but that hike, even with as much as I’ve felt like the hills haven’t killed me, but still hard on breath at the top, but the view just emotionally took your breath away. I wanted to stay there forever.

So as the sun set, I sat on the top of the mountain overlooking the valley below. I felt like I could see for miles and miles, and that maybe if it had been clear and I looked hard enough, I could have seen the coast. But as the sun went down, I decided to sit on a small rock and look out over the valley. Everything was illuminated with tiny little lights, here and there. And at first I didn’t notice, but when I looked closely enough, all the little lights would twinkle, and I was in heaven. You know when you see a shooting star and somehow your heart just warms. It’s nothing that not everyone can experience in their lives, but when you see twinkling lights, I felt like I was almost in Neverland. Somewhere where I could do whatever I wanted. Didn’t have to grow up. Could be who I wanted. But I couldn’t help but think that I wanted one particular person there with me. I wanted to experience this moment, but it was somewhat taken by my thoughts…

It got cold and the girls and I made plans to pull an all nighter our last night in Cortona at the fort. We figured we could make sunset, a complete visit of all the bars in Cortona, and then back up the mountain by the time for sunrise since nothing every seems to close at a particular time here, and then be back at the dorms by six to leave the next morning. Please let me be able to sleep on the plane home. It sounds like a good idea in theory. Hope it works, I will be even more worthless come Thursday. So because we decided we’d be back and I couldn’t shake things from my head, and I started to get real cold – story of my life lately – we made the trek back down the side of the mountain, which fortunately spit us out above our dorm this time – that was a nice change.

But everything on that mountain made me start thinking about so many things. I wanted a place to clear my head. Didn’t happen. So I leave you with my thoughts tonight before I start watching a movie, from Captivating, ask yourself this -

“why do so few women have anything close to a life of romance/? Loneliness and emptiness are far more common themes – so entirely common that most women buried their longings for romance long ago and are now living merely to survive, get through the week.”

I have no answer. But loneliness and emptiness consumed my mountain view. And maybe it was because I could see, in the valley below, the lights of lives that I want to explore and immerse myself in. Or maybe just because I was cold, I would have given anything for someone to wrap their arms around me and keep me warm, as I watched the lights twinkle, and the moon shine through the constantly moving clouds, almost giving no light at all to giving a bright light to see where I was going half the time when I was leaving.

So for you, my wanted warming arms – “our irst father – the first real man – gave in to paralysis. He denied his very nature and went passive. And every man after him, every son of Adam, carries in his heart now the same failure. Every man repeats the sun of Adam, carries in his heart now the same failure. Every man repeats the sin of Adam, every day. We won’t risk, we won’t fight, and we won’t rescue Eve. We truly a chip off the old block” (Wild at Heart – the man’s version of Captivating). So as an Eve myself, if I don’t have the protection of my Adam, where do I go, what do I do, and in order to have the life that I want, how much do I take matters into my own hands? Or are we forever cursed…


My ending song comes from Ellie tonight.

“I like the way you hung the moon.”